B.E.M.E.
So we're back on the english muffin horse. M and I are working together on the recipe and I'm trying not to be a jerk about enforcing baking "rules" I'm not actually even good at yet.
We went with milk this time (not buttermilk), and quite a bit more of it. The dough was perfectly tacky and I was able to get really nice boules. M went with the roll-and-smush technique, which produced some rather misshapen muffins that turned out totally fine once we got them in the pan (liberally coated with butter). Maneuvering slippery muffins is difficult, as illustrated here.
Regardless of the technique, they turned out awesome, easily the best EMs we've ever had. The smaller ones were better than the bigger ones, and we'll definitely get 8 instead of 7 next time.
Thanks to Aaron and Eileen (http://webmeadow.com/ - check it out, solar-powered web design) for their expert baking advice.
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